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CRACKING THE JIBLET
Summary One average day in Z-?!?... NOTE - DUBIOUS CANONICITY THIS ROLEPLAY LACKS LOGIC, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK, OR IF YOU WANT TO BE AMUSED. Transcript * 7:15 Cravitus (will try (jib, think of something to disgrace Ave's honor (you must start 7:15 Mysteriousjillguy remmgber this is crack so logic does not apply im starting to see why crack rps need lork- 7:16 Long Time (brb shower and chores (and yes lurk pls stay- 7:16 Mysteriousjillguy no logic=lurk 7:16 Invader Jib *ave is covered in large bottles of weaksauce* 7:16 Mysteriousjillguy it is my job 7:16 Cravitus Ave: *Sleeping* 7:17 Mysteriousjillguy *ave's bed grows spider legs and randomly farts out of existence* ( that is all lork can do ( because ( I haVE not SLEept iN twO daYs 7:17 Invader Jib but less sleep = less logic 7:17 Mysteriousjillguy * Mysteriousjillguy 's face began to melt 7:17 Cravitus Ave dropped onto the floor, and screeched as the weaksauce bottles shattered and stained the entire room. 7:17 Mysteriousjillguy less sleep= less good jokes ) 7:18 Invader Jib Random irken: Wow this room is really weaksauce 7:18 Mysteriousjillguy (brillant 7:18 Cravitus Ave bolted up, and held an empty nacho basket in one hand, cradling it like a rifle. Ave: "WHO GOES THERE?!" 7:18 Invader Jib Random *eyes turn red* 7:19 Cravitus Ave: "BLU? IS THAT YOU?" 7:19 Mysteriousjillguy * Mysteriousjillguy clapped along with a large group of lurk clones 7:19 Invader Jib Random irken: *Fires lasers out of his mouth* 7:19 Mysteriousjillguy ( gr8 i r8 8/8 7:19 Cravitus Ave sighed, and lowered the rifle. Ave: "How many times have I told you stop stop trying to eat powercells?" Ave: "You know what it does to your systems!" 7:20 Invader Jib Random irken: I was planning to suck out your soul to satisfy my hunger before you woke up 7:20 Mysteriousjillguy ( w8 ( what about ( dragon ball abridged crack rp 7:20 Cravitus Ave paused, and narrowed an eye. 7:20 Mysteriousjillguy ( irken conquest style ( moorio is nappa 7:21 Cravitus Ave suddenly stood up, and screeched as he hurled the nacho basket at the unknown Irken. Ave: "DOOOOOODGE-" 7:21 Invader Jib Random irken: *pukes Jib's soul, which then forms into a physical Jib* Jib: I hate everything 7:21 Mysteriousjillguy /auidence cheer track plays ( isnt jib gr8 folks 7:21 Cravitus Ave grimaced, and paused mid-screech. 7:21 Mysteriousjillguy ( typical jeeb 7:22 Cravitus Ave: "Ugh, it's you." 7:22 Mysteriousjillguy *laugh track plays* 7:22 Invader Jib Jib: Do I even know you? 7:22 Mysteriousjillguy *laugh track plays again* 7:22 Invader Jib *The random irken's head flies off as the rest of his body turns to dust* 7:22 Cravitus Ave: "I dunnoWAIT A MINUTE!" 7:22 Mysteriousjillguy *laufh track plays again for absolutely no reason* 7:22 Cravitus Ave suddenly looked down at the shattered glasses and the strangely weak sauce staining everything. 7:22 Invader Jib Jib: I just know that in a couple minutes weird crap is gonna happen LIKE THAT OMINOUS LAUGHTER Jib: *eye twitches* 7:23 Mysteriousjillguy *the laugh track plays, becoming auidbly demonic* 7:23 Cravitus Ave shivered. Ave: "You get used to it after a while. Mostly." 7:23 Mysteriousjillguy *a floating disemboided lurk head flies by in the window,laughing demonically* 7:23 Cravitus Ave stared for a moment. 7:24 Mysteriousjillguy *a lurk comes out of a portal* 7:24 Invader Jib Jib: Why am I not surprised 7:24 Cravitus Ave: "I dunno." 7:24 Mysteriousjillguy Lurk:OH GOD ITS THE CRACK DIMENSION 7:24 Cravitus Ave: "WAIT A MINUTE! WHY ARE YOU IN MY ROOM!?" Ave: "WHY DO I HAVE A ROOM?" 7:24 Mysteriousjillguy Lurk:LIR! ABORT MISSION! CODE DELTA! CODE DELTAAAAA! 7:24 Invader Jib Jib Code delta- 7:24 Mysteriousjillguy *Lurk jumps back into the portal,it dissappears* 7:24 Invader Jib *several planets violently explode* 7:25 Mysteriousjillguy ( all crack rps take place in a different dimension confirmed ( crack dimension is canon 7:25 Cravitus Ave suddenly looked at one of the labels on the ground, and picked it up. Then, he gasped as he suddenly recognized it. 7:25 Invader Jib (yes @lurk 7:26 Cravitus Ave: "Weaksauce?! Here?! How-" Ave suddenly glanced to Jib again. 7:26 Invader Jib Jib: I didn't do it. Jib: I didn't even know that was a real sauce. 7:26 Cravitus Ave: "YOUUUUU-" Ave tackled Jib through a door. 7:27 Invader Jib *A truck full of weaksauce drives by, with ave's face as the logo* Jib: Woah geez 7:27 Cravitus Ave slammed Jib against the wall, and a plethora of stale tortilla chips rained on them both. 7:27 Invader Jib Jib: *looks over, sees several crashed trucks of weaksauce* 7:28 Cravitus Ave: "You did this, you short, orange..." Ave paused. Ave: "THING!" 7:28 Invader Jib Random delivery irken: I heard someone here ordered 1000 bottles of weaksauce, by the name of Ave Jib: I'm not ORANGE at all 7:28 Cravitus Ave poked him in his good eye. Ave: "Orange." 7:28 Invader Jib Jib: OW 7:29 Long Time back 7:29 Cravitus Ave growled, and looked back into the strange room. 7:29 Long Time (you scrubs- 7:29 Cravitus Ave: "BLU!" Suddenly, the robot in question crashed through the delivery Irken, and through a wall, rolling to a stop in the room. 7:29 Long Time (what is even going on 7:29 Cravitus (madness) (jib's soul was vomited by a weird floating head irken) (it became real jib) BLU Mark Three stood up, and shook the rubble from his shoulders. BLU: "YES, COMMANDER?" 7:30 Invader Jib Delivery irken: Holy crap your robot is tall 7:30 Cravitus Ave: "WARM UP THE POT!" 7:30 Long Time (iswer2godigyoumakeblugay 7:30 Cravitus BLU nodded, and tossed the deliveryman through a nearby truck. BLU: "YES, COMMANDER." 7:31 Long Time Mario: *Falls out of the pot* WHNGNG WHERE? EYES. MY EYESSSSS WHAT IS THISSS *squirming all over the place* 7:31 Invader Jib *The truck crashes into the room, spilling even more weaksauce on ave* 7:31 Cravitus BLU held the pot, staring for a moment at Mario, then Ave. After a moment, he deployed a couple of fire extinguisher hoses, and doused both of them. 7:31 Invader Jib Jib: Gee ave, I didn't know your favorite sauce was so popular 7:31 Long Time Mario: WHY AM I HEEEEEEEERE *arm spasms* (does jib invoke the wrath of krevdrawings 7:32 Cravitus (Ave thinks Jib ordered 1000 bottles of weaksauce (and is trying to make ave pay for it 7:32 Long Time Hatbot: WOW! Weaksauce? OH BOY! 7:32 Cravitus Ave shoved Jib into the stream of Fire Extinguisher Foam, and coughed. 7:32 Long Time Hatbot: Ave LOVES to guzzle that stuff down! 7:33 Cravitus BLU doused Hatbot in foam as well, and finally retracted the hoses. 7:33 Invader Jib Jib: *the fire extinguiser foam caused jib to go on fire* Jib: WHAT THE 7:33 Long Time Hatbot: WHSDGRSRHRDH *Hatbot swims around the foam* 7:33 Cravitus BLU fished Hatbot out of the foam, tossing him into the pot, and almost magically the pot filled with water and began to boil. 7:34 Invader Jib Jib: *Rolls into a bunch of weaksauce bottles, causing it to fill the room when they break* Jib: Agh..what just happened 7:34 Cravitus BLU screeched, and hovered away from the flood of sauce as Ave, Jib, and Mario were soaked. 7:34 Long Time Vok: *falls out of a portal, stumbling around* And I'm gonna euhgfg b-becuase.. then he sai-- whaaaaa waaait where am I Mario: Oh god, not again. 7:34 Cravitus BLU: "PREHEAT SEQUENCE COMPLETE." BLU: "SPECIFY INGREDIENTS." 7:35 Long Time Vok: *putting his arms around Ave* Ehyy I like yoouuu, you remind me of Iso.... that god damn cheaterrr 7:35 Cravitus BLU didn't even glance at Hatbot as he swirled in the massive cauldron-like cooking pot. 7:35 Long Time Vok: LOOK, I RUBBED HIS CRYSTALS PASSIONATELY ONE TIME, OKAY 7:35 Cravitus Ave: "Wha-" 7:36 Invader Jib Jib: QUIT PUTTING THESE IMAGES INTO MY HEAD 7:36 Cravitus ( http://prntscr.com/8melum 7:36 Long Time Hatbot: I AM FREE! I can finally DIE! The demonic forces controlling my every move to aid dusq WILL STOP YAYY! 7:36 Cravitus BLU suddenly took notice of Hatbot, and yanked them out, tossing the boiling-hot machine at Jib. 7:36 Invader Jib Jib: WH_ 7:36 Cravitus Hatbot landed on Jib's face. 7:36 Invader Jib Jib:*gets hit by the machine, and is knocked out* Jib: wait Jib: Oh i thought you meant the boiling pot 7:37 Long Time Vok: OH "VOK THAT'S NOT RIGHT, I CAN'T EVEN LIKE MEN-" OH WELL HOW ABOUT THAT TIME YOU MADE OUT WITH JIB, HUH? YEAH THAt'S RIIIIIIGHT YOU LIARRRR 7:37 Cravitus Ave: "I need an adult-" 7:37 Invader Jib Jib: ...who did what 7:37 Long Time Vok: *Burps, stumbling around* Auhgg I- I ehu 7:37 Cravitus Ave suddenly glanced to Jib, and then to the pot. Ave: "Oh yeah, I was gonna boil that guy." 7:38 Long Time Hatbot: Oh BOY! It's Jib! Jib how's it going? 7:38 Cravitus Ave's eyes widened. 7:38 Long Time Mario: I'm in hell. 7:38 Cravitus Ave: "OH WAIT, I WAS GONNA BOIL THAT GUY." 7:38 Invader Jib Jib: If you're talking about mario he's literally dating Zik's counterpart, what does that imply 7:38 Cravitus Ave: "BLU! That one!" He pointed to Jib. BLU nodded, and reached for the Irken. 7:38 Invader Jib Jib: *Smashes the boiling pot* 7:39 Cravitus Boiling Water soaked Jib, and flowed everywhere in a steaming, bubbling puddle. 7:39 Long Time Mario: Jib. Jib, what's going on. JIB. WHY CAN'T I SEE Mario: JIB WHY DO I SMELL SOUP 7:39 Invader Jib Jib: ...Maybe you should see a doctor 7:39 Cravitus Ave: "IT'S TIME TO GET JIGGY WITH JIBBY! GET IN THE SOUP!" 7:39 Invader Jib Jib: NO 7:39 Cravitus Ave jumped and tackled Jib, forcing his face into the puddle of boiling water. 7:39 Invader Jib Jib: AHHHHH *Jib's skin is violently burned* 7:40 Cravitus Ave bared his teeth, and attempted to force Jib even further in the water. *into the 7:40 Long Time Vok: Ooooouhhh what's tis nouw? You're gunna get in hot.. steamy.. water. IF ONLY THAT GOD DAMN CRYSTAL WAS HERE 7:40 Cravitus BLU: "Steamy. Mmm." 7:40 Invader Jib Jib: *Punches ave and rolls out* Jib: OH GOD MY SKIN 7:41 Long Time Vok: HE NEVER RETURNS MY SIGNALS. "OH VOK, WHY DID YOU BURN MY HOUSE DOWN-" IT WAS FOR LOVE YOU GOD DAMN BLIND ROCK 7:41 Cravitus Ave growled, and grinned as he looked back at Jib. Ave: "Thank you sir, may I have another?" 7:41 Invader Jib Jib: .... Jib: Weirdo 7:41 Cravitus Ave kicked Jib in the groin. 7:41 Long Time Mario: Literally hell. 7:41 Cravitus BLU hovered down to Mario, and crouched.' 7:41 Invader Jib Jib: *with his lack of reproductive parts, jib was not affected in the slightest* 7:41 Long Time Mario: Wait- what're you gonna do? 7:42 Cravitus Ave frowned, and resolved to punch Jib in the gut. 7:42 Invader Jib Jib: Ow *The delivery irken and the random irken from earlier get into an epic fight in the background* 7:42 Cravitus BLU remained silent, and simply stared intently at mario. 7:43 Long Time Mario: .... *looks around awkwardly, intimidated by the robot's strange stare* Hatbot: wot are you doing 7:43 Cravitus BLU: "I have special eyes." 7:43 Long Time (ffs krev- 7:43 Cravitus BLU leaned in closer. BLU: "Do you have special eyes?" 7:44 Long Time Mario: *Slowly backing away, eyes widen* *Blushes* I uh--... w-what? Hatbot: lul ur gey 7:44 Invader Jib Jib: *Sees mario blush* 7:44 Long Time Hatbot: nurds 7:44 Invader Jib Jib: *Writes in notebook "theory confirmed" 7:44 Cravitus BLU's fingers slapped Hatbot at Jib. 7:44 Long Time Hatbot: *eyes turn into airhorns, blasting them off* 7:44 Invader Jib Jib: OW- Jib: *throws hatbot at ave* 7:46 Long Time Vok: OhhHOhohh what's TIS nouw EHY? Y-you dating a robot now? Your standards geht lowar and lowar eveeeeeeeeeeeeeeryday *stumbling* Vok: Unlike ISO- WHY WON'T THAT ROCK RETURN MY LOVEEEEEE *passes out and falls over* 7:46 Invader Jib Jib: At least he didn't date a rock 7:46 Cravitus Ave, transfixed on BLU, was shocked out of his stupor by the hat and fell onto Vok's back. Ave: "WHY IS THE HAT MADE OF METAL-" 7:47 Long Time Hatbot: Y R U MADE OUT OF EXCUSES BUCKO 7:47 Invader Jib *The delivery irken sliced the random irken in half, finally the ending the eldritch abomination's reign of terror* 7:47 Cravitus Ave growled, and punched Hatbot. He immediately regretted it, due to the fact they were made of metal. 7:48 Long Time Mario: This. This right here. This has to be hell-- like seriously, I'm not even joke I could-- I wish this wasn't real. joking* 7:48 Cravitus BLU: "I wish it was real." 7:48 Long Time (ffs- 7:48 Cravitus BLU's fingers suddenly poked at Mario's face. Meanwhile, Ave kicked Hatbot at the delivery Irken, and looked back to Jib. 7:49 Invader Jib Jib: Perhaps we were exposed to that "LSD" lurk keeps yelling about 7:49 Long Time Mario: *Backing his head away* Euhhh.. look, Blu. I'm dating someone already. Mario: It's not you... and your... cold menacing robot eyes.. Mario: It's me... sorta? I don't know. 7:49 Cravitus BLU: "By that logic, it'd be cubed." 7:49 Invader Jib Jib: *Whispersto blu* It's just Zik as a female, he's using that to satisfy his lust for him 7:49 Long Time Hatbot: ROBOTPHOBIC Hatbot: MAKE OUT WITH THE ROBOT (jib wh- 7:50 Cravitus BLU's head rotated around to face Jib. The robot stared silently. 7:50 YourFavoriteFangirl (http://puu.sh/kuhsr/6f2e067b77.png 7:50 Invader Jib Jib: Wait what are you doing- 7:50 YourFavoriteFangirl (boy crack jib sure is weird 7:50 Long Time Mario: Female? wh... are you high? Mario: Are you just. Wh Mario: *Blank expression, mouth open staring at Jib* 7:51 Invader Jib Jib: Eh that's just the rumors i heard 7:51 Cravitus BLU's arms reversed around, and each glowed red menacingly as they whirred. (*the insides of each 7:51 Invader Jib Jib: *backs up* 7:51 Long Time Hatbot: jib ur weak Hatbot: fight my pal 7:52 Cravitus BLU's arms and head went back to staring at Mario. 7:52 Invader Jib Jib: Did you SEE THAT THING 7:52 Long Time fight me* Hatbot: i eat jibs for lunch, bucko 7:52 Cravitus BLU's left arm reversed again, and shot Jib into the ceiling. 7:52 Invader Jib Jib: OW- 7:52 Cravitus BLU: "You're a thing of meat and bone." 7:52 Invader Jib Jib: WHaT WAS THAT FOR Jib: YEAH WELL, YOU HAVE NO SOUL 7:53 Cravitus BLU's head did a 180 again. BLU: "That's why I eat them-" Ave: "YOU SAID NOTHING-" 7:53 Invader Jib Jib: *Falls back into the ground* Jib: Gasp 7:53 Long Time Hatbot: NEITHER DO I! Reminds me of the NEVERENDING TORMENT GEE THANKS PAL OLE BUDDY *spins around while his eye-air-horns blast off for no reason* 7:53 Invader Jib Jib: Everything makes sense now 7:53 Cravitus BLU: "Orphan souls are the best-" 7:53 YourFavoriteFangirl (waht even is this rp 7:53 Cravitus Ave: "Stop revealing operational secrets!" (I don't know anymore (it was crack rp 7:54 Invader Jib Jib: Maybe I should get my sanity checked 7:54 Long Time (nobody knows 7:54 YourFavoriteFangirl (ur crack rps are weird- 7:54 Cravitus (meanwhile blu mk3 confirmed to run on orphan souls ( File:BLUMK3.png 7:54 Long Time (see (you scrub (crack went sucky as predicted (crack rp**** 7:55 Invader Jib lol 7:55 Cravitus (did anyone expect it to go well 7:55 Long Time (god dammit 7:55 Invader Jib (for a crack rp it did 7:56 Cravitus Suddenly, Ave began screaming in terror as his arms became soft, porous, and brown. 7:56 Mysteriousjillguy (what even- 7:56 Long Time (wh- 7:56 Mysteriousjillguy ( are they turning into diarehhea 7:56 Cravitus Ave: "NO! IT CAN'T BE!" Ave began to turn into a strange block-like thing of porous, brown softness. 7:56 Mysteriousjillguy ( ave is becoming one with the dimension of pure dooky 7:57 Cravitus Ave screeched. 7:57 Mysteriousjillguy ( run 7:57 Cravitus Ave: "I! AM! BREAAAAAAD-" And thus, Averii became a loaf of bread. 7:57 Mysteriousjillguy ( o h 7:57 Invader Jib Random irken: *uses the break to top a sandwhich* *bread 7:57 Long Time Mario: Okay, this is officially hell. 7:58 Mysteriousjillguy ( tad strange: DID SOMEBODY SAY BREAD?!!!!! 7:58 Cravitus BLU tore a chunk of the avebread off, and somehow devoured it. 7:58 YourFavoriteFangirl (no kidding mario 7:58 Mysteriousjillguy *TaD STRaNGE bursts through a portal and begins eating averii alive* 7:58 Cravitus BLU: "Y E S-" BLU began to vibrate and glow red. 7:58 Long Time Mario: I mean-- oh GOD 7:58 Mysteriousjillguy tad strange:*DEMONIC VOICE* I L I K E B R E A D 7:58 Invader Jib Random irken: *tears off jib's arm and puts in on the sandwhich* 7:58 Long Time Mario: WHY 7:58 Invader Jib JiB: I hate everyone 7:58 Mysteriousjillguy (violence 7:58 Long Time Mario: WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS 7:58 Mysteriousjillguy ( jib is violent ( reported 7:59 Invader Jib *Jib's arm spontanouesly grows back* 7:59 Long Time Hatbot: u were too weak bucko hahahahahahaHAHAHHAFHAAHHAHAHAHAHFHAFJHFAHFAHFHF 7:59 Cravitus BLU laughed, a mechanical and demonic noise as his wing-like antennae became horns. 7:59 Long Time Mario: *horrified expression, his mouth still open* Mario: ... why 7:59 Mysteriousjillguy *a darrz clone made of toilet paper and mayonaise bursts in through the window,screaming,"HAULLEUJUHAUGH" 7:59 Invader Jib Jib: Come to think of it, if we died recently, your theory has some plausibility mario 7:59 Mysteriousjillguy darrz clone:rubs arms on mario,moaning 7:59 Cravitus BLU screeched, and picked up hatbot as he sprouted wings. 8:00 Mysteriousjillguy darrz clone:*shoots tsnumai at hatbot no miss 4 no rasin* 8:00 Cravitus BLU: "MY BOND IS BROKEN! AT LAST, FREEDOM!" 8:00 Long Time Hatbot: *punches Blu* NOT SO FAST BUCKO Hatbot: im the only cool robot around here 8:00 Cravitus BLU growled, and put Hatbot on his head, wearing him. 8:00 Long Time Hatbot: thats why i get all teh ladies m8 8:00 Cravitus BLU cackled maniacally, and scooped up Mario as well. 8:00 Long Time Hatbot: YOU CAN'T WEAR ME 8:00 Mysteriousjillguy *the darrz clone grows incrediby large and flies through the roof literally* 8:00 Cravitus BLU: "PRAISED BE THE SEII!" 8:00 Long Time Hatbot: THIS IS AGAINST ROBOT RIGHTS 8:01 Mysteriousjillguy *it flies into the sun screaming "ONIONS"* 8:01 Cravitus BLU: "NOW, TO RETURN TO THE LAND OF MY CONSTRUCTION!" 8:01 Mysteriousjillguy sevn:this is against the laws of physics- 8:01 Invader Jib *A gigantic spider heads for the darrz clone* 8:01 Mysteriousjillguy draxx:*chucks sevn out of window* 8:01 Cravitus BLU: "CHINA-" BLU suddenly paused. 8:01 Long Time (i'm just imagining miz horribly confused by this whole rp- 8:01 Cravitus BLU: "KREVTOVIAAAAAAAAA-" 8:01 Mysteriousjillguy *suddenly a giant trangular pair of booty cheeks fell on the building,destroying it* 8:02 Long Time (wh 8:02 Mysteriousjillguy draxx:WHAT GLORIOUS TRIANGULAR BOOTY CHEEKS 8:02 Cravitus BLU stared at them for a moment. 8:02 Mysteriousjillguy *draxx splodes,violin music plays* 8:02 Invader Jib Jib: Mario, you were right about this being hell, I have no more doubt 8:02 Mysteriousjillguy *all around mario the landscape catches on fire* Iso!Lurk:WELCOME TO HELL B- rating 8:02 Cravitus Meanwhile, a gigantic, grinning crab-lobster face in the sky appeared. ( http://prntscr.com/8mes5b 8:03 Mysteriousjillguy *iso lurk splodes* 8:03 Long Time Mario: Wait. If everyone's basically on drugs, why aren't we horribly mangled and messed wiiii- MY ARM. SWEET MOTHER OF MOTHERS, IT'S A LITERAL BUCKET *staring at his new bucket-arm, screeching* 8:03 Mysteriousjillguy ( my god kreb ( perf terrz:CAN I KEEP THE BUCKET 8:03 Cravitus Megakrev: "YES, MY ROBOTIC SON. RETURN TO ME!" 8:03 Mysteriousjillguy terrz:*licks jib making weird grunting noises* 8:03 Long Time Hatbot: This IS a bucket! This is MY bucket! (wh---- 8:03 Mysteriousjillguy *jazz music plays* 8:03 Cravitus BLU laughed, and ascended to Krevtovia, dragging Mario and Hatbot to the sky. 8:04 Invader Jib Jib: *shoves terrz out a window* 8:04 Mysteriousjillguy terrz:*Tounge extends to unnatural length and literally licks him head to toe* 8:04 Long Time Mario: can you drop me so i can die again please Mario: please 8:04 Cravitus (blu mk3 is really krevbot incarnate 8:04 Mysteriousjillguy *terrz flies backwards with gmod style spazzing* terrz:IUHGHTEDGJYRFHVKRJYKTUREHJTYRTJRYTJG MICROSOFRT 8:04 Cravitus Suddenly, the entire landscape around them begins to lift into the sky. 8:04 Mysteriousjillguy *Terrz crashes into a hovering train exploding horribly* *shrek appears* 8:05 Invader Jib Jib: What the- 8:05 Mysteriousjillguy shrek:HEY NOW UR AN !ALL STUR GIT G0D M8 shrek:penetrates jibs- bread crust arm* 8:05 Invader Jib Jib: *shoots shrek repeatedly* 8:06 Mysteriousjillguy shrek:grabs jib and ascends to a higher realm of booty,preparing to unleash dong horrors onto jibs pure untouched glorious now-apparentky-existing donut crust of a pop tart* 8:06 Long Time Mario: *punching Blu, forcing him to let Mario fall* Mario: please let me die 8:06 Mysteriousjillguy *shrek has a high pitched laugh* 8:06 Long Time Mario: end this hell please 8:06 Cravitus BLU: "NOT THE SACRIFICE-" BLU loses his grasp on Mario. 8:07 Long Time Mario: *falls on Jib, unharmed* Mario: GOD DAMMIT 8:07 Invader Jib Jib: I feel Jib: violated 8:07 Cravitus Suddenly, a chunk of bread appeared next to Mario. The Bread jiggled and jumped for a moment, making strange chittering noises. 8:08 Long Time (this is literally drugs: the rp 8:08 Invader Jib (after this rp ends im gonna make the crack dimension article- 8:08 Long Time (can we do the bus rp instead- 8:08 Cravitus (you had a choice, mario (you had a choiceeee 8:08 Long Time (this is drug hell krev (i regret all life decisions 8:08 Cravitus Suddenly, the Bread grew teeth, and latched on to Mario's bucketarm 8:09 Long Time (tf2 references (u big scroob 8:09 Cravitus (you know jib you can get super muscle jib to end it all if you embrace it 8:09 Long Time Hatbot: I have done nothing but transport this bread, FOR three whole days! 8:10 Invader Jib Jib: I don't know what anything is anymore 8:10 Long Time Hatbot: This bread is my bread, MY bread. Not yours. Bread is owned by me. 8:10 Cravitus The bread gnawing on Mario growled, and flailed a bit. 8:10 Invader Jib Jib: *eye twitches* *Bites his own arm randomly* 8:10 Long Time (wh0 8:10 Cravitus Jib's arm suddenly separated, and grew into a bipedal lobster-crab-man. 8:10 Long Time wh-* (wh--- 8:10 Invader Jib Jib: I should see a doctor 8:11 Cravitus The Bread attacking Mario suddenly did the same, as did a few random pieces of Debris. The small legion of LobsterCrabs formed a ring around Mario and Jib. 8:11 Long Time (ok that's it- (i'm done 8:11 Invader Jib Jib: *Holds gun in front of them, shaking* Jib: I' 8:11 Cravitus One of the Lobstercrabs opened their mouth... 8:11 Long Time (can we do bus rp 8:12 Invader Jib Jib: I'LL DO IT, I'LL BLAST YOU MONSTERS TO PIECES 8:12 Long Time (this is going to scar me for life 8:12 Cravitus ...And began to sing 'Take on Me' in an Austrian Accent. 8:12 Long Time (ffs- 8:12 Cravitus The other Lobstermen joined. 8:12 Invader Jib Jib: AHHHHHHHH 8:12 Cravitus https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djV11Xbc914 8:12 Invader Jib Jib: *Violntly kicks and punches several of the lobstermen* *violently 8:12 Cravitus The Lobstermen do not flinch, and join claws, circling Jib and Mario. 8:12 Long Time (bus (bus (bus 8:13 Cravitus (only if jib goes full manly 8:13 Invader Jib Jib: AHHHHHHH 8:13 Long Time (jib rip out the muscles (end his madness (go goku 8:13 Cravitus (i give him two minutes 8:13 Long Time (to this music 8:13 Cravitus (until krev ends it himself 8:13 Long Time (save the day 8:13 Invader Jib Jib: *Grows spontaonous muscles, and smashes the lobstermen* 8:13 Cravitus BLU gasped. BLU: "IT... IT CANNOT BE!" BLU: "HE'S GONE..." BLU: "INSAIYAN-" 8:14 Invader Jib Jib: *Pulls the dimensional fabric, sees the irken empire wiki* 8:14 Long Time (ffs krev 8:14 Cravitus BLU suddenly exploded, and Hatbot was sent down at Mario. 8:14 Long Time (did you really just make that pun 8:14 Cravitus (yes. (it was so bad blu died (the end 8:14 Invader Jib *bad fanon wikia articles crash into the room, violently tearing the dimeisional fabric* 8:15 Long Time Hatbot: that's a real PUNNY joke HAHSREHRtjRJERHRHAAAAHAAHAHHAHAHA *blows up, thousands of bottles of weaksauce rain down* *The sunset rises, complementing the glorious bottle-rain's view* 8:15 Cravitus Suddenly, 80s-Ave fell into the room, surfing another BLU. 8:15 Long Time *The wind runs through Jib's long, blonde hair* 8:15 Cravitus Ave: "COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE." 8:15 Long Time *The sun glistens off Jib's perfect tan muscles* Mario: You know what. No. Mario: kILL ME Mario: PLEASE 8:16 Cravitus Ave: "Are you sure? I mean, we have nachos." 8:16 Long Time Mario: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD Mario: KILL ME Mario: NO, I DON'T WANT N- THAT'S NOT THE POINT 8:16 Cravitus Ave shrugged, and aimed his enormous laser pistol at Mario. 8:16 Long Time Mario: KILL ME GOD DAMMIT 8:16 Invader Jib Jib: I'm sure logic would bend to keep you alive somehow 8:16 Long Time Mario: SHUT UP JIN 8:16 Cravitus Ave pulled the trigger, and shot Mario in the foot. 8:16 Long Time Mario: GUN. HEAD- Mario: *screeching* FOR GOD'S SAKE AVE, NOT THE FOOT. KILL ME. NOT THE FOOT Mario: YOU IDIOT. THAT'S JUST CAUSING PAIN 8:17 Cravitus Ave: "I'm trying! This robot eye doesn't make it easy!" BLU-EYE: "YOU DON'T MAKE IT EASY." 8:17 Invader Jib *Jib's lost twin brother jin enters the room* Jin: I didn't even say anything, wtf mario 8:17 Long Time Mario: *spazzing all over the place, holding his foot* AAAHHHHH Mario:I HATE LIIIIIIIFE 8:17 Cravitus Ave pulled the trigger again, blindly shooting Mario in the other foot. 8:18 Long Time Mario: *rolling around* Mario: Oh FOR GOD'S-- FFFFFF Mario: *screeching, holds his other foot* Mario: SHOOT ME IN THE HEAD AVE Mario: SHOOTING MY FOOT WON'T KILL ME AUHGHGH 8:18 Cravitus Ave tossed the pistol away, and sighed, lifting a weapon that strangely resembled a laser minigun from the BLU-copy he was standing on. 8:18 Long Time Mario: FOR GOD'S SAKE YOU IDIOT 8:18 Cravitus Ave: "Hold still!" 8:18 Long Time Mario: SHOOT ME. SHOOT Mario: SHOOT ME Mario: GUN 8:18 Cravitus Ave pulled the trigger, and the barrels began to spin. 8:19 Long Time Mario: TRIGGER Mario: MY HEAD 8:19 Cravitus Then, lasers flew from the weapon, and Ave began to emit a manly roar Unfortunately for Mario, every single bolt hit one of his feet. 8:19 Long Time Mario: YES, FINALLYYYYYYY Mario: OH FOR SWEET MERCIFUL GOD- Mario: *screeching* 8:19 Invader Jib Jin: *Jumps into the air, and hits the bullet that was going for mario's head* 8:19 Long Time Mario: ARE YOU KIDDING ME Mario: *curses in Irken, squirming everywhere* 8:20 Cravitus Ave pulled the minigun up, and looked on in awe. 8:20 Long Time Mario: YOU IDIOTS. JUST SMASH MY HEAD, STAB IT. JUST KILL ME 8:20 Cravitus Ave: "Jin! So the legends are true!" 8:20 Invader Jib Jin: Yup 8:20 Long Time Mario: THIS IS NOT HOW YOU KILL A MAN 8:20 Cravitus Ave: "Is it true that you're at least ten times manlier than Jib?" 8:20 Invader Jib Jin: Yes 8:20 Cravitus Ave: "Amazing." 8:21 Invader Jib Jin: That's an extremely true fact 8:21 Long Time Mario: *rolling around, still screeching in the backround, yelling Ave's name* 8:21 Cravitus Ave shot Mario again in the foot. Ave: "Honestly, that time was just for fun." 8:21 Long Time Mario: HTDGSSSAAA 8:21 Cravitus Ave pulled a large football-shaped device from his back, and placed it on the ground. Ave: "This should take care of this mess." 8:22 Long Time Mario: JUST DO ITTTT, I DON'T WANT TO BE THROUGH THIS PAINNN 8:22 Cravitus Ave punched in a code, and the device began an ominous ticking. 8:22 Long Time (krev you know what this reminds me of 8:22 Cravitus (wat 8:22 Long Time (that one skit where the guy has to kill the warlord (but sucks massively at it 8:22 Cravitus (honestly that ran through my head (like (as I had ave shoot mario the first time 8:23 Long Time (oh lol YourFavoriteFangirl has left the chat. 8:23 Cravitus Ave: "Right then! You have one minute to either come with me, or die." 8:23 Long Time (miz gtg'd 8:23 Cravitus A portal opened to Ave's right, and he kicked the inactive BLU-copy through. 8:23 Long Time Mario: SECOND OPTION, YOU BLUBBERING IDIOT. I'VE STATED THIS 5 TIMEs. 8:24 Cravitus Ave shot Mario's feet off, and grinned. 8:24 Long Time Mario: AUHGHHAHAHAA Mario: *Smashing his own head repetitively with his bucket-arm, screeching* 8:24 Cravitus Bikini-Entra poked her head through the rift for a moment. Entra: "You just wanted to shoot his feet off, didn't you?" Ave: "Yes. Yes I did." Ave strode through the rift, and the portal closed with a guitar riff. 8:25 Long Time Hatbot: o snap but if dats teh future ove Hatbot: whos da footr mayro Hatbot: ITS JIN Hatbot: I KNEW IT 8:25 Invader Jib making crack dimensions article- *dimension 8:25 Cravitus (meanwhile sci fi 80s ave does manly 80s action movie stuff with bikini entra (battling evil blu copies (with neon laserbeams and 80s synth Category:Roleplays Category:Noncanon Fanon Category:Fanon Category:Crack Roleplays Category:Joke Articles Category:Stories Category:Irken Conquest Category:Season 2